I have done what most people don't dare to do. I have learned to say "no" to things that aren't serving me in the moment. I am practicing what it feels like to have boundaries, peace, and honoring my true self which inherently always honors others too. I am keenly aware of my tendencies, needs, and surroundings and I allow myself to be responsible for it. Not many people can say they are practicing being "in tune" with themselves on an authentic soul level.
I am saying "yes" to me and to the things that are essential and important for my individual needs. I am being accountable for myself and living with Soul Integrity. It is a beautiful thing to love myself without apologizing for it. I say "yes" to my spirit and "no" to my ego or "natural man". It's amazing really.
I have been learning to say no and yes to things as well and taking a look at what the motivation behind those decisions are. I am stepping off the Ego Train more often. I am not living for the expectations of others or the world anymore. I am allowing myself to do what I've always wanted and needed, what my soul has been yearning for and redirecting me to my whole life. I am practicing living life on purpose. I practice being aware of what truly honors me from my heart space in any given moment. Sometimes this means I say yes to things I wouldn't normally agree to (it kind of comes out before I have time to process it). Sometimes it means saying no to the supposed to's and most things that involve the word "should" (which typically can be shame based, though there are some should's that are appropriate like people should not abuse other people).
I have been told by many what I "should" do with my life and if I did it a different way I'd be happier and not struggle the way I am right now. I am serving the greater good of the whole world by listening and following what is true for me. I am finding out who is really supportive of me and who is not. I do not share my dreams, goals, and successes with non-supportive people who would likely try diminish my light because I'm mirroring something they're not comfortable with: happiness, joy, peace, success, living to the beat of my own drum, doing things that are non-traditional or "out of order" according to them, following my heart, soul, and spirit, living intuitively, honoring and serving myself first, nurturing and loving myself in only the way I can. In essence their discomfort can be a reflection of projecting their shame onto me, imposing their way is the right and/or only way, transferring their "story", feelings of better than or less than, not being enough, believing they are unlovable, that it (life) is unfair, not allowing or giving themselves permission to just "be" instead of "doing". Or it can be a reflection of the shame I hold and old limiting beliefs.
I'm okay if someone is triggered by me. I'm not responsible for how another person reacts, thinks, feels, or behaves. I'm okay that the strong emotions bring about an opportunity for everyone involved to learn and grow. It is potentially a humble and teachable moment where compassion for self and others can flourish. What I see in others, both the positive and the negative, is what I see in myself. It is not necessarily to the same extent. There may not be behavior in common, but the underlying beliefs behind it may be something that resonates on some level.
I am the only one "here". I am the only star on my individual stage and the only director I am really working with is God and I choose the parts I play. Everyone else that shows up in my life is a supporting role to help me learn about and see myself more clearly. This is true for everyone. This is why my choices truly are my own. I have the courage to be vulnerable and to share my truth. It is a beautiful thing and I love it.
*This post is in response to my friend, an amazing and talented writer among other things, Michelle Argyle's blog post, "What a World of Saying 'No' Is Like", it also shares her experience with HSP (Highly Sensitive Personality). I love her vulnerability and authenticity. It's so refreshing. While I was writing a response to her I realized that everything I was writing was really how I live my life now. I realized that I can see it so clearly in her because it is true for me. That is how this post was inspired.
**If you want to know more about living a life in Soul Integrity talk to me. I'd be happy to share with you some of my journey and where you can start your journey for yourself.
